A few months ago, I started to feel the tug to open my own business. Actually, that’s a lie. I had the dream of being a business owner a long time ago, even before I became a psychologist. Throughout the years, I acquired training, degrees, and licenses that would have certainly made it possible for me to fulfill that dream. However, the thought of leaving a corporate job and stepping out Into the Unknown (like Elsa in Frozen II) was too much for me. I decided for years to remain within the safe confines of my state and federal jobs, with the health insurance and retirement benefits that accompanied them. Do It Scared: Embrace Courage and Transformation.
On a particularly stressful day at work, I developed such a nauseating migraine (I get a lot of them when I’m stressed) that I ended up losing my lunch in the staff bathroom (sorry for that visual). As I was washing my hands, I caught a peek of my face in the mirror. It was flushed red and my eyes were so bloodshot, it looked like I had been crying or smoking lots of weed. Even through the pounding of my migraine, I heard my inner voice ask me, “Is this enough or do you want to have a stroke?” Three days later, I submitted my written resignation.
I spoke with one of my friends, Sharon (who is also working on her own business, by the way! Check her out on Facebook: Beauty by the Boss), about the mixed feelings I was having. On the one hand, I was excited to venture out on my own and finally start working on my own business. On the other hand, however, I was terrified of throwing myself into the unknown without the safety net of a biweekly paycheck. Now, Sharon is one of the most empowered, positive people I worked with. She simply said, “It’s ok to be scared, but do it and do it scared.” That phrase changed my outlook COMPLETELY (not right away, though. I had to sit with it for a few days!).
For months before opening TAPS-NV, I did massive amounts of work to prepare for this new adventure. First, I journaled, meditated, and prayed; I worked on my emotions, analyzing what was underneath my “iceberg” of anxiety (for more insight on this, read The Iceberg of Your Emotions blog post) and cognitively reframing my own thoughts so that more positive ones could emerge. With the help of my husband, I also learned how to file business licenses, research insurance panels, and create a web page. Absolutely nothing about the process of starting my business has been easy, but the thought of remaining so entrenched in the safety of my anxiety was too much to bear.
I’m still anxious (hello debt!), but I’m doing it even though I feel scared. In my case, there was no other way to be free.
